Monday, Snow came. We were delighted, and spent a fair amount of time entertaining him and sitting around letting him call the shots. Since it's not often we have a visit from Snow, we decided to let Snow rule the day, and he seemed to appreciate it. It was such a nice visit, but then Snow called a friend, Ice. He invited Ice over. Not wanting to upset Snow and jeopardize the tone of our rare visit, we bit our tongues and told him this was fine. Ice arrived.
Tuesday, Snow and Ice showed no interest in leaving. Being Southern, I am very keen on being the perfect hostess, and said nothing. As I said, we don't see Snow often, and since his visits are so much fun we saw no harm in adding to the party. This was not wise. Ice began taking liberties and indulging what he considers his sense of humor.
Yesterday, Wednesday, Snow decided it was time to go - he could see it, too. Ice, frankly, is a little bit of a bastard. He likes to trip me, mainly on the back steps, and has had a great time spooking Totsi the Dog enough to where going potty outside isn't high on her list of priorities. I suppose it's to his merit that he's never tripped her and has stuck to making popping noises every time she takes a step, but the poor dog has really been freaked out. He has glued Didgeridoo Boy's windshield wipers down, resulting in an interesting drive to the store in a pelting drizzle. We have yet to get them loose. He somehow made it to the roof, where he stomped and slid, sounding very like a large, angry man and nearly giving me a heart attack. Snow is saying he had no idea his friend would go this far with the pranking, and has been deeply apologetic. He honestly tried to leave yesterday, but Ice ran enough interference that he finally gave up.
So here we are - Thursday morning. Snow is going to make another try at getting them out of here, and thinks he's figured out a way to convince Ice that it's time to hit the road. Since neither of us have much faith in that working by tonight, there will be a grocery run later today to restock the snack supply, and possibly a stop for some adult beverages to help us tolerate this jackass should he refuse to leave. (Actually, scratch the adult beverages. Let's not find out what he's like with a buzz.) I'm trying not to resort to pouring boiling water on Ice, as I know that would not be polite and I'm still trying to be a good hostess.
All we can really do is relax and make the best of it, right? Right?
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