Try as I might, I can't find the version with the explanation that someone trained a squirrel to do this by setting up the obstacle course gradually, allowing the precious to master a section at a time. According to that description, the process took two weeks. Naturally, I want to do one - we have an unfenced area of our yard that would be perfect. Just one problem:
The HOA. I might have to get HOA approval for something like this.
Actually - - that's more of an opportunity than a problem, isn't it? I might have to present it at a board meeting. Even if it doesn't require their okay, I think I might work up a proposal and present it anyway, just to see the looks on their faces. DAMN, I wish I would have thought of this before I declined to attend the annual breakfast. (Actually, that took place Saturday, the same day of the Hyland's Calms debacle. Wouldn't that have been a treat for all involved?)
And I think I might try to involve this woman in the process as much as possible, even though she has no say-so. Wouldn't it be nice of me to be the one to finally humor her? I'd be willing to wager we wouldn't have to remove our info from the contact list, because she would *never* call us again after I explained, in great detail, that I wanted to train wild squirrels to run through tunnels and ride little rockets down chutes. I might even go so far as to expound on how I think it would help the squirrels lead more productive lives, as feelings of accomplishment can do great things for the psyche. I could present a business card calling myself a "Small Wildlife Occupational Therapist", that would feature a sympathy-inducing image of a squirrel who has, at long last, made something of himself. And, of course, I'll need a pastel hoodie upon which I've scrawled "I'm Nuts for Squirrels!" in puffy paint. (Or perhaps, "I'm Nuts.......FOR SQUIRRELS!" Maybe a front/back rendering of that, actually.)
How could they possibly turn that down? Even if it's something that violates every single conceivable neighborhood bylaw and code in place, they'd probably be scared to. One never knows what a crazy squirrel lady might do.
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