Monday morning Stupid Honky rant...

For anyone who's been reading this blog for a while, or is familiar with us in everyday life, when I say the words "jackass" and "neighbors" it's obvious who I'm talking about and that yet another event in the madcap saga has transpired. So (ahem) - Jackass Neighbors! If you're not familiar with the Jackass Neighbor nonsense, here's a very brief entry that will familiarize you with the subject. That was actually our last real encounter with them. (We learned through a neighbor who knows their landlord that the female part of that equation took a job out of town, and is only here on weekends now. ) A couple of times, she's glared if our paths happen to cross on the times that she's in town, but she does that to everyone. Once you've been yelled at and had things thrown into one of your cars, a glare? Meh. I'll have some coffee to go with this piece of cake.

Yesterday morning, bright and early, we had engines revving in our ears and heard many car doors slamming. Car alarms were brought into the mix, too. I had planned to sleep in a bit - Sundays are good for that - but got up and peeked out the bedroom window. (I should mention that since we've moved back to the master bedroom on the ground floor, our bedroom window is down near the driveways.) Someone's battery was, evidently, dead. Both of their vehicles had the hoods up, and were joined by jumper cables. Both ran for quite some time after that. Okay, fine. Maybe she was about to leave.

No. But let's wake the neighborhood early on a Saturday morning. You know, just because.

At about one o'clock this morning, musical cars started. Their very bright outside light came on, the beepity beep of car alarms being armed and disarmed started, and back they went to slamming car doors. Didgeridoo Boy suggested we shout out the front door at them and tell them to shut up. I told him we were going to rise above such nonsense as I spied out the blinds. It took a good six tries to get her car backed into the driveway. For a brief spell, the man responsible for moving her car ran back and forth, in and out of the front door of the house. I don't know if he was forgetting keys repeatedly or not, but he slammed both his car door and their storm door every single time. (It was like a remix.) Didgeridoo Boy suggested we call the police, as that's what she would do to us. I told him to hush, because I didn't want them to hear us and know I was pretending to be Gladys Kravitz. NEVER FLIPPING MIND that my silhouette could be seen against the blinds because we had a light on. Just forget that part.

I'll be honest with you - this morning, I am ticked the hell off. How is it not cool for us to come in at about 10.30pm from a party, making almost no noise, but it's perfectly fine for them to first wake their neighbors with the battery-charging escapade and THEN have a door-slamming musical cars fest at 1.00am? And, in yet another episode of their blatant jackassery - they had a guest who parked behind our driveway yesterday evening and last night. Have I mentioned that if you park behind their driveway they freak the hell out? They have repeatedly parked behind ours, and allow their guests to park behind ours. Lo and behold, in keeping with the full-on crap trend they insist upon perpetuating, the silver car belonging to their guest was right smack dab behind ours. Why do they not have to give a shit? They consistently do not give a shit while we have to live on eggshells, and this puzzles me greatly.

You're probably thinking that she was leaving town late last night, which would explain the flurry of activity at 1.00am, right? No. She's still here. The guest is apparently gone, but she's still here, with her car backed into the driveway. I swear it looks smug. Actually, it might be glaring.

I am seriously considering putting a sign in our bedroom window that reads: BEDROOM WINDOW. SHUT UP. LOVE, THE STUPID HONKIES.