Just now, Casa Didgeridoo...

The Manly Wall of Entertainia has been dismantled, and a new entertainment center is arriving today. Didgeridoo Boy moved everything overnight, so when Jackass Neighbor Man (aka Pater Jackass) woke me up at 4.30am be-beepitying the on/off mode of his car alarm, I was relieved to see that all I had to do was run the vacuum in order for everything to be ready.

Vacuuming is always an adventure here. Today, I learned that the vacuum will take up an entire kernel of popcorn. But that didn't impress me as much as what happened when I got to the other side of the room confused the bejeezus out of me. There's been a black wire shelf there housing breakable, expensive electronic things which made me afraid to vacuum under it. Still - I couldn't imagine what could be causing a rattling, ticking noise - so loud it could be heard above the roar of the vacuum cleaner. It sounded like I had hit a nest of little shards of hard plastic. I saw something, turned off the vacuum, and went in for closer inspection.

It was, I swear, a toenail.

I vacuumed it up while doing the icky dance, put the vacuum away, and went on to tidying up the kitchen. Didge yelled from the bedroom...

Didge: "HEY!"

GKG: "What?"

Didge: "C'mere."

GKG: "Alright. Give me a minute."

I stopped what I was doing and walked back to the bedroom.

Didge: "Shut that door."

GKG: (No words, but I told him he was number one.)

Didge: "Hey....shut....."

I was already back in the kitchen, wiping down counters.

Didge: "HEY! Dammit....."

He gets up to go to the bathroom. As soon as he's clear of the bedroom, I go shut the bedroom door.

GKG: "I shut the door for you, Honey."

Didge: "I'm going to shut a foot in your posterior."

Matters attended to, Didge went back to the bedroom. Something completely out there dawned on me. I just had to know...

GKG: "Oh. I need to ask you something."

Didge: "What?"

I walked back to the bedroom, and asked, "I found toenails all the way across the room from where your desk used to be. How did they get *all the way over there*?"

Didge: "I don't know."

GKG: "Did you bite them off and spit them over there?"

Didge: "Probably."

Frankly, I'm still trying to both absorb this possibility and forget anything pertaining to it. Please make the bad pictures go away and never come back. They scare me.