Goal oriented...

Goals are fabulous, aren't they? And the first of the month is a good time to set them, isn't it? Plus, it's March. We're on the brink of spring (in this hemisphere, anyway), time of all sorts of crazy wonderful newness, when everything wakes up again. In a lot of ways, spring is more potent than a new year for me when it comes to deciding upon things I might like to accomplish. So, with that in mind, this month:

• I will try to breathe deeply and count to ten, not just two, when Didgeridoo Boy tries to trip me at the grocery store.

• I will work harder to carry on about my business as if nothing is happening when he strolls along behind me, doing that thing he does that it is impolite to talk about, giggling.

• I will carry on in the same fashion when he decides to find out what sound a particular chair might make. (Think.) Moving along....

• When he is dancing behind me in the middle of a retail space, I will work towards reminding myself that it could be worse while not paying any mind to how, thereby alleviating traumatic flashbacks of what he did when he was walking behind me.

• I will study how to ignore what I've just dedicated three points to.

• When all is quiet and he gets up, tippy toe marches through the room, stands in front of a thing, and grins, I will strive not to not grow so paranoid.

• I will try not to entertain so many thoughts of stapling his Whoopee Cushion together.

• Likewise, I will try not to entertain as many thoughts of putting his cap gun in the trash compactor and squishing it.

• And, finally, I will make an honest effort towards learning to fully understand Didgerifurbee, in spite of the fact that I refuse to speak it.

Is it just me, or did the cosmos just scream, "Yeah, chick. SURE THING!" Never hurts to try, right?