....ever single time.
It's not spiders, although they do that. And, yes, this is the time of year for the big spiders building webs all over the place. They're doing their part in the great cycle of life, killing off the flying insects of summer for fall. I guess. That's what I tell myself. One in the back yard has made a fine tent for himself out of a leaf at the top of his web, and I tell myself I am amused with that and that it's cute to avoid thinking, "Damn. That fucker is huge and if he gets on me I will die."
Nope, folks, it's the roaches. The big boys from outside that mosey in during the summer. Every year, one or two will make an appearance, and it's always the same thing - I Carrie Bradshaw it up while swinging a broom and screaming for fire to kill it. This year, the biggest one I have seen since leaving Savannah got in. It was so big it scared the dog. NO SHIT. Totsi has been with me for eight years, so she's witnessed my reaction and has never been phased. This was all about the bug. She saw it first and set about getting the hell away from it. I followed.
And you know how dogs are. Once something scares them, they take time to recover. And when Totsi gets good and spooked, she heads to me for comfort, laying right on my chest like she did when she was a puppy. She now weighs fifty pounds.
So Sunday night there was another bug. I didn't see it first, Totsi did, and she alerted me to its presence by laying down on top of me. I tried to move her, but she made herself heavy. I know you know what I mean - she went from fifty pounds to one hundred and fifty in two seconds. I couldn't move. And she kept me there while that damned thing strolled up the wall and walked laps around the crown molding. Twice. It went towards the ceiling fan and I had this image, this horrifying image, of it falling and hitting the fan, flying right into my hair. That led me to try to persuade her to move some more - - and she made herself even more heavy. Ordinarily, I could eventually move her -- but I still have some weakness from my back injury, and it just wasn't happening.
I managed some Instagram photos. (I was checking my messages when she saw the bug, so I had my phone in my hand when she crawled on top of me.) This was taken one-handed with my left hand going over my head and then over my right shoulder while holding my breath. I still don't know how this made my right shoulder look like a wad of sweatshirt-covered something, but it does.
Here's another, after she had moved down a little. You can see my reflection in her eye - - as well as her very clear expression that I was NOT to move.
I was pinned for about an hour after a day of staying hydrated, if you get me. The bug finally left the room. Never did find it. Totsi stayed very, very close all through the night. Yesterday, I bought her some turkey "bacon" treats to reward her vigilance. I totally get where she was coming from. And I think she thought she was protecting me.
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