If you're supposed to be co-leading a presentation and the other person rambles on and on and ON and on and ON AND ON AND on and on and onandonandonandONNNNN, goes off on tangents, ignores you trying to interject, answers questions by going off on further tangents until someone in attendance flat out gets up and says they have to leave - - and YOU get mad, you might be taking their stuff personally. (I just totally channeled Jeff Foxworthy.) Sure, maybe your plan was for you both to be heard. You might be afraid the presentation just bombed. But consider why someone might take to grandstanding - why might they *need* the spotlight so much that they go into autopilot to that degree? Might it be a mask? They're not doing a damn thing to you, not really. It could be a fear of being seen leading them to put up what I call a "word mask", insecurities putting them into performer mode, or never feeling like they're being heard in other areas putting them into a place of, "OH HELL YEAH! It's finally about ME and I am going to SPEAK!" But it's got nothing to do with you, I'll wager, beyond they might feel a little competitive in team settings. Against *anyone*. Again - it's not about you. And it's normal to get pissed about not getting your full share of air time, but don't let it derail you from what you're up to outside of those few moments. The only time anyone tries to steal your sunshine is when they're sick and damned tired of their shade. Oh, hell. Hang on, I've got to - - I've just got to....
If you don't like that song, don't take it personally that I put it up here. But it's there, so you might as well play it and dance, right? Maybe just bob your head? I accidentally typed "boob" there instead of "bob" at first - what if I had left it and someone would have made a joke about it or gotten snarky and said I needed to proofread? Would I have been embarrassed? No. I've had a lot of coffee and type in excess of 100 words per minute. Sometimes shit happens. Would I have snarked right back at the proofreading comment? Mentally - hey, satya, right? But I'd also remind myself not to take it personally, that perhaps that person's being micromanaged somewhere in his or her life, or feels so wrong about stuff that they need to point out one....little.....thing because they just need to feel right about something. Are you ticked that I suggested you dance on a Monday when you have a million things to do and it's time to get down to business? It's an earworm 90's tune. That's all. Maybe you're ticked that I keep suggesting reasons someone might be ticked? It's nothing more than coffee and ideas. Maybe too much of both.
Today, don't take stuff personally. That's not a challenge, it's an invitation. Try it on. And, yeah, you might stand there in the grocery store checkout line after work wanting to slap the glittering snot out of the person who has too many items in the express lane - - but let it go. There could very well be someone checking Facebook on their phone in front of you when the stoplight turns green - - it's not about you. That's their gig. And I'm not telling you to let everything go and be a doormat, because sometimes you absolutely do have to assert yourself - but a lot of times, it's just someone else's shit. Nothing more. You'll know when it's time to do that - - just like you know when it's time to leave something alone. And once you get into that listening, and the little nuisances that used to get in your way become things you just have to walk around, life becomes more fun.
I'm going to go dance to that song now while I pour out the rest of this cup of coffee.
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