Frightening in its simplicity...

I've just finished a brisk jog of housework, during which I had a series of epiphanies. Actually, perhaps it's just one epiphany that came in three parts, but it's real and of such searing simplicity that I had to sit down. I'm still digesting this knowledge as I share it with you.

Didgeridoo Boy, For Now (ahem) loves to run interference - just kind of in general. Life is never dull, and stuff can take a while. So, without even realizing I had realized the need to do this, I began taking the measure that I only just now realized I had taken up, and catching myself doing it was what led to the epiphany.

That thing that I do so I can get sh@t done, darlings, is this:

I park him with a source of entertainment, and give him something tasty to put in his mouth.

It's not always about housework, though. Yoga practice can be a supremely challenging time - I have had whoopie cushions and cap guns go off when I am really not in a place of caring to be startled. So what did I start doing so I could accomplish things like yoga, manicures, pedicures, and other vital indulgences?

I park my precious Puck of a husband with an engrossing source of entertainment, and give him something tasty (usually crunchy) to put in his mouth.

Guess what I do when we go out to get him to behave?

I see to it that he is aimed at something that will occupy and entertain him, and bribe him with all manner of tasty, unhealthy delights to put in his mouth.

The epiphany? The route to something that resembles peace and quiet and things getting done? It's as simple as occupy and feed. Occupy him and feed him. Wash, rinse, repeat. Occupy. Feed.

And it's taken me two years to figure this out.