You have got to be bleeping me....

I said I wasn't going to talk about them anymore, but our Jackass Neighbors are a strong, strong part of our suburban experience. Therefore it's important that I document all of the happenings and random bags of situational crap that take place, right? Sure.

Let me give you a tiny rundown - as tiny as possible:

They trashed the yard of the place next to us, which our HOA had crowned Yard of the Month upon their arrival, by out and out neglect over the course of their first summer here. They grew the much lamented jungle path to such epic proportions that Didge and I couldn't get our trash out. The (cough) nice lady who who lives there flung our trash can into the back of Didge's car TWICE when we were told by the powers that be that we needed to put it to the side of their unit until they had taken care of the weed problem (we are in townhouses, ours is in the middle, yatta, yatta) - - and then she told her landlord that she was afraid we would put something illegal in our trash can and that she would be arrested for it. Then the glaring started. She honestly spooked me one day while I was sweeping our driveway. Later that same week, she went completely mental when Didgeridoo Boy came home from work, turning on all of the lights and peeking out the windows in a very aggressive fashion. Oh, how we love her. Love, love, love. And she returned that love by yelling at us that we were stupid honkies who needed to shut the hell up out her front door at about 10.30pm one fine Saturday night - all we were doing was standing on the front porch, trying to find our keys after a party. Well we DID sit a bag of groceries down. Maybe that was what riled her.

Let's go back to the yard. It got UGLY. The owners of the property finally came over and cleared the weeds out of the way of our gate. Someone came to cut the grass. But the network of weedy vines that had grown over all the shrubbery, and the really tall weeds that were peeking over the top of said shrubbery? Stayed. The Japanese maple, dead of not being watered, was cut down. And then one day about two weeks ago, a truck load of men with a trailer full of equipment showed up and set to work.

They pulled so much dead muck out of there that they were shaking their heads. They planted a new tree. It took all morning. By the time this took place, it had been just over a year and a half since any real care had been taken of the place.

Alright, alright. Why am I carrying on about it?

I'll tell you why. Because after all that, after not giving a whit about all of the complaints, and after being thoroughly lazy and downright aggressive....

....they got Yard of the Month as soon as someone cleaned it all up for them. And the woman who flung trash cans and shouted? She's been a bit gloaty.

Isn't that lovely?