Great gawdamighty...

And a happy good day to you! I'm sick as a dog with some variety of tummy nightmare that is, I am convinced, trying to kill me. Yesterday was an interesting ride through hell, during which I lamented that fact that I had only just recovered from a cold and was really enjoying my evening Kundalini yoga sessions that I would probably never be able to do again, as I was sure death was imminent.

In true Casa Didgeridoo fashion, however, the day wasn't without a highly surreal moment - we don't really know normality here, we live in a blur of cartoonisms. When one of us is sick, it's no different, and is actually somewhat enhanced. When exactly I did this I do not know, but I made my way up the stairs to my bathroom (aka the Temple of High Maintenance) and made a little bed on the floor. I even took a pillow, although I cannot tell you how I managed to get that upstairs with me - - I can't walk very well, so I'm having to take stairs on all fours. It's likely I had it in my mouth, but we'll be leaving the subject alone now. I got my very warm Hello Kitty throw and a rug, put my pillow on the floor, and set up nap camp right by the commode. And there I slept.

I was dreaming that I was in Hawaii. This tapping noise struck up, and I couldn't figure out what it might be - was it a bird? Might it be a helicopter from the helicopter tour place down the road from the condo? Wasn't it a strange time of day for the grounds crew to be mowing? I realized I was on the bathroom floor as Didgeridoo Boy opened the door. He was holding Jupiter Jones, and Totsi the Dog peeked in around him. All three of them were staring at me goggle-eyed, and I said, "I think I'm really sick." Didge said, "Ya think?", and told me to come set up camp on the couch and that he would get me something to sip. So that's what I did, and then I toddled right on back to bed.

One might think I would have quit such unseemly behavior with being discovered sacked out on the floor of the bathroom, but I didn't. Oh, no. I took it out amongst people this morning, on a run for sickie food. As if basically staggering through Publix wasn't enough, I noticed that my wane appearance wasn't the only reason people were staring at me as though very concerned - I had somehow managed to smear my Eyeko Strawberry Fat Balm all around my lips. So, yes, I just traipsed through the grocery store, wobbling, propped up on my shopping cart, perspiring, with lipstick smeared on my face, smiling and saying hello as if nothing was amiss.

I'm officially putting myself on retreat until I can stop behaving this way. I have ginger ale, the makings of my favorite rehydration beverage, oyster crackers, and some other things that I can't remember at the moment. Those will be nice surprises, I'm sure, after I take in a Twin Peaks marathon and figure out a way to keep the bed from spinning.