I am not being the least bit sarcastic. Foot Foot Kittycat is not liking this recent, great push towards improving our environs. She hates it when I do even the lightest housework, and will pout for hours over runs of laundry. Why sprucing up our kitchen hacked her off to such a degree yesterday morning I have no idea - her reaction surpassed above and beyond. I was treated to bouts of plaintive meowing, for which I could identify no cause. She dashed about, trying to trip me mid-zip, and would go back to acting as if she'd come to in the midst of an apocalypse. Finally she just gave up, ran off, and hid.
I didn't know where she was until I vacuumed the dining room. And I never actually saw her, I only saw the white of her, along with a large, grey blur that turned out to be Didgeridoo Boy. I was vacuuming away at the opposite end of the room, and peripherally caught sight of a tall grey mass that seemed to be holding something white while swaying back and forth. I assumed it was Didge indulging in antics meant to distract me from my mission. I was wrong. I turned off the vacuum, and looked over. Didge, in shock, asked if I saw "that". "What?" I asked. "Foot Foot. On me. She just....attached herself to my stomach and arms, like, out of nowhere."
He said he'd approached the door to the dining room, and found Foot Foot sitting there. Just sitting, as though she wasn't going to let him through. He asked her what was going on, and she jumped on him - and stuck. They had quite the little dance, Didge and Foot Foot, back and forth in the passageway between the living and dining rooms. He walked and swayed around trying to get her loose, finally detaching her on the dining room side and sending her sailing into the living room. Naturally, the cat was nowhere to be found for quite a while afterward.
And so the day progressed. We worked on the house, cleaned the yard, had dinner, discovered Foot Foot had been shut in the linen closet (again), and otherwise had a normal evening. Didgeridoo Boy walked outside to retrieve a beverage he left while we were doing yard work, and came back in to find Foot Foot in his chair. He picked her up and sat her on his "crap stand" (a folding table he puts his stuff on). When Didge sat down, Foot Foot jumped off the stand and into his lap, settled in a bit, and dug her claws in as thoroughly as she could.
Have you ever seen a tall, lanky man fight a cat in his lap in a papasan chair - from behind? It's pretty amusing. Didge's legs shot straight up, as did his elbows, while his head bobbled from side to side very, very quickly. "FOOT FOOT HOT DAMMIT! JEEZ! WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO OWWW! OWW!" The papasan shook on its stand, a basket of chaos. "HOT toe mighty. FOOT F..." And an innocent-looking little calico cat hopped down to the floor, shook her head, and began to wash her face. Didge stood up, looked at me, and said, "Damn."
And yesterday was only the beginning. It's going to be a hell of a weekend, I think.
2 comments:
You really need to get this reality show idea in high gear. Count me as a charter subscriber. MTV has no dancing to compete with what your household already has (including improv dancing due to the cat's freak-outs). Even without the disco, this is dancing greatness.
Thank you! Both were moments of interpretive dance brilliance. I think Didge's cat-fueled avant-garde approach should be recognized!
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