Helping a Didgeridoo...

Didgeridoo Boy, as I might have mentioned, is addicted to Mt. Dew. I can't drink the stuff, as it makes me want to recreate Mary Lou Retton's legendary vault at the '84 Olympics at random, and the anti-freeze color of it scares me. So, you'd think a case of Mt. Dew would last a while, right?

Wrong. A case of Mt. Dew lasts about four days. So last night, after purchasing another case, I asked if there was any way to make this one last for at least a week. "Hide them from me.", he said. He was serious. But - how?

Didgeridoo Boy turns everything into a game wrought with supreme smartassery. He will tear this house apart "pretending" to hunt for his beverages. I know this about him. Plus, it's not as though our house is that large. Accomplishing this is going to require something akin to creating an Easter egg hunt for the world's most playfully evil jacked-up-on-Pixi-Stix seven-year-old genius. I can fully see him destroying things trying to find one....more....can every night after I go to bed.

Maybe I could bury them out in the back yard, or plop them (in daily allocation bundles) into the creek bed a few yards back from that. They might tuck underneath the mulch in the front flowerbed. The trunk of my car is far too obvious. And choosing obvious in-house options? He will figure that I selected those thinking he would not think to look in them. This is Didgeridoo Boy, darlings. He has perfected the fine art of being "slick" - which makes him exceedingly difficult to deal with. Compliance is not his strong point. In many ways, he is not to be trusted.

(And oh, look. Foster the cat is going on her morning search for a litter box alternative. Where's my spray bottle?)

(Sorry.)

In other words, Didge will play along only as much as he is willing. And I fear his willingness to play a little game is stronger than his willingness to limit his consumption of this technicolor, hyperactivity-inducing swill. He's also quite keen on thwarting every plan I make, which will only double his determination to root out every single can by 11.58pm tonight.

And I just realized that once he reads today's entry, the hunt will ensue, and he will blame it on the fact that I wrote all of this.