Honestly...

Oh. My. God.

Okay, folks, I have to do it. I have to. This is driving me fucking batshit crazy. I like my little retreat, I do, but for three days I haven't been able to properly clean the kitchen. I need to do laundry - can't. Noise. Yes, the relaxation is nice, but I've wanted to do these things and it's suddenly occurred to me that I'm borderline bugging out over not being able to do them. Denial is nice, but she left and went to the mall to get some things for a weekend out of town.

This morning, Didge did a plie squat dance all over the damned living room while talking incessantly. When he wasn't doing that, he was looking for food. Hushpuppies. He wanted hushpuppies. Deep fried goodness for breakfast, darlings, and no digging through the refrigerator, freezer, or pantry was going to yield what we did not have. So, just after my morning coffee that had no time to kick in, with no shower or makeup, I had to take him to buy one box of House Autry hushpuppy mix and a bottle of cooking oil for the deep fryer. While we were in the grocery store, he looked dead at me and said, "You look tired." No shit, Sherlock!

When we came home, Comcast had become an issue, and I had to phone customer service about our vanishing OnDemand while he gave me instructions as to what to say. Do not do that to me. I do not do well when that is done to me. I will throw shoes at your head if you do that to me. (breathing)

He seems to be calming down now that he's had some caffeine. His goal is to stay awake all day long. If he sleeps, I am to wake him. I am relishing each and opportunity this will provide me for previously not thought of levels of devious tomfoolery.

Revenge, baby. It's where it's at.