Pop star...

Didgeridoo Boy loves himself some popcorn. He will, on any given night, plow through a huge bowl all on his own; in fact, our house is developing a lingering popcorn smell from the amount of popcorn he will prepare.

And we're old school about it. None of that microwave nonsense for us, no, sir. We get our popcorn on via the stovetop. In a wok, even, which is by far the best way to pop popcorn on top of a stove. If you follow a very simple little method and apply vigilance as to when you take the wok off the heat, it's pretty much foolproof. Pretty much. Here's the method:

1. Pour about 1/8 cup oil in the wok.
2. Drop in a few kernels - keep track of how many. I like four.
3. Put on the lid.
4. Turn heat to medium-high.
5. Wait. Listen. When you hear a number of pops that corresponds to the number of kernels you put in the oil, remove the lid, and put in the rest of the popcorn - about 3/4 cup. Just leave the popped kernels in there.
6. Quickly, using a spatula, stir the kernels so they're all coated in oil.
7. Put the lid back on.
8. Wait for the pops. It'll happen.
9. When the popping slows down, move the wok off the heat. Let the popping stop.
10. Season to taste. Dump it all into a bowl, if you'd like. Nosh.

Didge has been having issues with this, but a few mornings ago I walked into the kitchen and found telltale signs he'd finally had success. That night, he decided to have another go - off to the kitchen he went, and set about honing his popcorn skills. I watched in awe. I even went into the kitchen to check out what he was doing - peering into the wok to see his test kernels (more than I would use, but whatever) beginning to sizzle. This alarmed him. "Foo! What are you doing putting your face over that hot oil? Once of those things might pop you in the eye!" He was right. That was foolish of me. I was very tired and didn't even consider the hazard.

Okay, darlings. Think with me for a moment. What was missing? It's okay if it takes you a second, I didn't realize it at the time, either. Like I said, I was tired. Exhausted, really. In fact, I was checking on the laundry when I was startled into realizing what I failed to realize that led Didge to chastise me. I heard a couple of loud POPs, followed by Didge shouting, "hooOWWWWW!", and turned to the sign of him rubbing his arm, hop/spinning through the kitchen. As he hopped/spun and hollered, another loud POP sent a piece of popcorn almost to the ceiling. We both swore a bit, and I collapsed into a giggle fit after making sure he was okay. Yes, I really did make sure he was okay first. He dumped in the rest of the popcorn, hurriedly put the lid on, and continued.

Are you with me yet? As he was salting the finished product and dumping it into his popcorn bowl (a dollar store find of which he is most fond), he said, "You know, I think doing it this way might actually be dangerous." And I agree, it is actually a little bit dangerous....

....if you forget step three.

Trust me on this - it's all about step three, baby.