I would show you pictures, but - damn. That would mean looking at what I created again.
It started with the laundry closet doors. They fell *off*. One fell into the other, and BAM! And I got PISSED. I moved them into the living room, went to a large discount store that I normally avoid like every single kind of plague imaginable, and bought a tension rod and a shower curtain. Came home, put that bad boy up, and noticed it was too short. Got mad again, shouted that my house was totally fucked, and said, "To hell with this." And then I got myself a Magic Hat Cucumber Hibiscus Ale and a little bowl of Cheez-Its and pouted.
I had a plan. I made a notebook, a nice one, with ideas and lists and order and control. But when the closet doors played TIMBERRRR and wound up on the living room floor and the laundry closet wound up wearing high waters, I decided I would just go with the messy flow and pulled every last cotton picking thing out of my storage room. And it is all over my house. No, really - all over my house. It is all. Over. My. House. You know that side of Goodwill where they sell housewares and you see things like floor lamps next to computer monitors from the age of Prodigy and Compuserve with lace doilies laying on top? You've got it. I can't see my living room. I mean, I can if I stand on the balcony and look down, but - nope, can't see it otherwise. But I'm going to go with it. From this place of chaos, I'm going back to my plan. Why am I telling you this?
Well, because I haven't written in a while, but also to tell you that sometimes the first step towards what you want might be a domestic throw-down with the very thing you've been wanting to avoid. (On more levels than one, but we'll get to that later.) When I wrote about the notebook, I suggested going with "What pisses you off the most?", and realized that's a moving scale. In my case, it was pushed when those doors hit the floor. I brought what I was avoiding out into the open and let it tick me off good and proper, and now? I'm even more ready to rumble. Sometimes it's like that - avoid nothing, just embrace the bigger mess and go. (And I was avoiding that storage room as much as I avoid that big discount store.)
I'm going to dust off my notebook.
